the_heavy_rain

there was that single moment
our flesh touched
we connected
and with my arm I could feel 
the smoothness of his skin
for a single second I knew all I needed to

he would be a great lover
our kisses would cause stars to go nova
there would be passion and music throughout the heavens
oh yes there would be music and passion

then he moved
                                                          away             away        away
the contact was broken
and I grew unsure

unsure of what would come
of what could come
of what I should do
of what he might do
if I should even make a move
to take that step closer

that moment was forever gone
but could I make another last
could I make another
should I try
or should I just revel in that rapturous moment of possibilities
and let sleeping dog lie

oh my mind grew heavy
consumed with what’s, ifs, and should i's

the embrace of my other 
was barely enough to hold together
barely, but enough

his touch grew pale with her's
her kiss and taste and feel
enveloped my world
for a time
and then she too left me
she went back to her world
but unlike him, I know she will return

but until then i sit here
waiting, wanting
a word
but only a word

yes       no
it does not matter which
but i seek, i need, I await
a word
of or lack there of
interest.

of closer
or future facts.

it takes only a word

it growls 
and i can feel it
it is beneath me
it roars with hunger and i shake

i feed it
and still it rumbles my very heart.

pain, violent racking pain
an unending hunger
i will tend to it 
to the day i die
and even then it'll hunger.

Outside the world is bright happy and queer

the sunlight shines thru the window panes

illuminating this world within

and yet within these wall lay a darkness

not a sad depressed kind of darkness

nor an evil must kill the world type

its not the darkness brought on by boredom

for there are games, and books and obsessions

to pass and fulfill the time

but it’s the kind of darkness that sends the world away

it prevents responses to friends and loved ones

it inhibits outings into the world

it allows a nothingness to take hold

for things to be forgotten

or ignored

it prevents desires and dreams

this is an un-liked darkness

the anger or rage would be better

this lethargic feeling is not unlike a living death

that is much worse then boredom

more horrid then depression

more in need of “fixing” then anything else in life

for at this time

there is no known reason

it simply just exists.

So the idea of the account is to allow myself another place to post and publish poems and short stories.
My writings are often very sexual in nature, so this will be alittle bit more anonymous then my main account.
But it will also be a lot more public.
There won't be the locks and filters of my main account.

I  will however delete any and all person comments.
Only comments on the writings will be allowed.

I'm not sure how often I'll post.
But I'll try to post something at least once a month.
Can't promise anything better.